I talked in the previous article about the top four ways to deal with a destructive behavior. I recommend reading it because it combines very well with the information that you will receive from this article.
5. People who behave destructively don’t have something personal with you
Most often it is their problem and not yours. Those people will blame you for their toxic behavior and there is a possibility that you might feel guilty. It can affect your confidence and create a state of anxiety, knowing you could have done something wrong. Avoid going into this loop.
When you are dealing with other people’s toxic behavior and you manage to avoid taking things personally, you feel a sense of freedom. These people exercise their behavior not only on you but on many people with whom they interact. Even when the situation you find yourself in may seem personal and you feel directly insulted, most often it has nothing to do with you. The things they say and do are only based on a subjective opinion, even when going to extremes.
6. Learn to practice kindness
There are times when it’s normal to show kindness to people who behave in a destructive way towards you, because you know that they are going through a difficult time or maybe suffering from an illness. There are situations when it is quite clear that people are genuinely in a state of anxiety, depression or suffering from a mental or physical illness. Even in these cases, you still have to separate the difficult experience they are going through from their behavior towards you.
If you let these people do what they want because they are going through a difficult situation, either medical or psychological, this can create a circumstances in which somewhere in their minds they will think that they can use this situation to get what they want.
The idea here is that you can’t really help someone if you keep finding them excuses for everything they do, just because they are going through a difficult time. There are many people in this world who are going through very difficult times in life and yet their behavior doesn’t turn into a destructive one for others. It’s not healthy at all in the long run to continue to find excuses for these people’s behavior.
7. Save some time just for you
If you’re in a situation where you are basically forced to work or to live with a person who manifest a destructive behavior towards you, then make sure you take time for yourself, when you just relax, unwind and recover. When you play the role of the rational and coherent adult that deals with negative moods and attitudes, it can consume your energy quite fast and if you’re not careful, their destructive behavior can take a toll on you.
I repeat what I said before: even if you are dealing with people who really are in trouble or suffering from a disease, I’m sure that after an initial conflict, they can understand that you are a person who also has needs. This means that when you want to leave that situation in a polite way, you can do it anytime you want.
This time is just for yourself. You deserve to have a time interval when your mind in quiet, free from external pressures that come from that person’s destructive behavior, without the need to solve problems, without having to be constantly on guard or needing to please someone.
What are the experiences you went through with people who manifest their destructive behavior towards you? Tell us a few ways to confront a destructive behavior, by leaving us a comment below. Thanks!