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7 Things You Need to Stop Expecting From Other People

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By Reid Schram(Translation : Yuyu Chiang)

May 26, 2016
2:54 pm
Los Angeles, CA

Many times in life, the biggest disappointments we have result from different expectations we have from the people around us. Most often this occurs in our intimate relationships and the friendships we have. When you lower the number of expectations you have from others, this in itself will substantially reduce the level of frustration and suffering, both in your life and in the lives of the people around you. Also, this will help you pay attention to the things that really matter. That means it is time to: 1. Stop expecting people to behave just like you think they should behave When you care for and respect those around you, that means you accept them exactly as they are. When you stop having expectations, you will begin to appreciate

Many times in life, the biggest disappointments we have result from different expectations we have from the people around us. Most often this occurs in our intimate relationships and the friendships we have.

When you lower the number of expectations you have from others, this in itself will substantially reduce the level of frustration and suffering, both in your life and in the lives of the people around you. Also, this will help you pay attention to the things that really matter. That means it is time to:

1. Stop expecting people to behave just like you think they should behave

When you care for and respect those around you, that means you accept them exactly as they are. When you stop having expectations, you will begin to appreciate others for who they reallly are. Seek to respect others for who they are and not for what you want them to be.

There are many examples where people who we believe we know very well, couldn’t be more different than we expected. Every human being is beautiful and unique. To be able to see this, you just need to be patient. As you get to know a person better, you’ll be able to go beyond appearances and really notice her beauty, exactly she is.

2. Stop expecting others to like you

Some people might make you feel like you are nothing and that you’re not wanted in a particular place, but remember that you are a precious person for someone else. Whatever your expectations, always remember this. So spend your time with people who appreciate you just the way you are. No matter how good you are with others, there is always that negative person who will criticize you. It’s best to smile, ignore them, and move on.

In this strange world in which you are “programmed” to be just like everyone else, among the biggest battles you will fight is to be yourself. And while you focus on being yourself, there will be people who will not like you. Some might call you one way or another just because you’re different. But that’s ok. The very things that make you different are the thing that make you unique, and the right people will love you for them.

3. Stop expecting them to know what you think

From what I’ve noticed, people cannot read other people’s thoughts. It is very likely that they do not know how you feel unless you tell them. For example, your boss has no way of knowing that you want a promotion because you have not said it yet. That person with whom you have not spoken with because you are shy? Exactly, you guessed! It is time to talk with her.

Often there are situations where you have to take the first step. You just need to tell people what you think without expectations. It’s that simple.

4. Stop waiting to be respected more than you respect yourself

This was a life lesson for me and the number of expectations that I had. True power comes from within and not from physical strength. It is the ability to believe and trust in who you really are, to act and support your point of view. Decide right now that you will stop asking someone else for love, respect and attention, things that you must first show to yourself.

Even today, go in front of a mirror and tell yourself: “You’re a very important person for me and from now on I will take care of you exactly as I should.” Actually, it’s about dignity. It is also very important that you treat with respect the people around you, but avoid neglecting yourself while doing it. When you really practice self-esteem and self-worth, you then give yourself a real chance to be happy. And when you’re happy, you become a better friend, a better family member, and of course, a better version of yourslef.

Also Read: Seven signs that you’re around someone who has bad intentions

5. Stop expecting people to suddenly change

If you’re with someone you care about and hope that a certain behavior will disappear with the passage of time, I want you to know that that might never happen. If you really want that person to change something in their behavior, speak sincerely and put all cards on the table, so that person can know how you feel and what you want, while you leave aside any expectations.

The news that you might not like is that often times, you cannot change another person, nor should you try to do it. Either embrace her as she is or choose to live without her. It may sound harsh, but not quite. When you try to change someone, most often she will remain exactly the same, but when you don’t try to change her, she will begin to change in a beautiful and elegant way. This is because what’s really changing is how you look at her, while you stop having expectations.

6. Stop expecting others to agree with you

You deserve to live a life where you’re happy and you deserve to be enthusiastic about what you do. Avoid letting other people’s opinions change this idea. Most likely, you’re not in this world to live up to the expectations of others, nor should you expect others to live up to your expectations. In fact, if you think about it, the more you are aligned with the decisions you make in life, the less you will need the approval of others and so you will stop having expectations.

It’s important to dare to be yourself, follow your own intuition, no matter how strange or even scary it may be. Avoid comparing yourself to others or get discouraged when you notice the progress or success they have. Go your own way and stay aligned with your goals. Success means to live your life with a good feeling, following your own path, with no expectations from others.

7. Stop expecting others to be ok

Be nice with others because the people you meet are going through their own battles, just like you. Each smile or confident behavior might have some inner battles behind it that are as complex and extraordinary as yours.

Remember that when you choose to think in a positive way, that does not mean you ignore the negative side of things. A healthy and balanced thinking is characterized by the ability to overcome difficult situations or times when we lack self-confidence and not to avoid them. It’s better to support, share and contribute in people’s lives because this is one of the most beautiful gifts you can make. This happens naturally when you allow yourself to do it, because we share similar aspirations, needs and difficulties.

When we accept this, the world will become a place where you can look into the eyes of the person next to you and tell her/him: “I feel lost and I’m going through some difficult times …” and the other person nods and says: “Me too…” and that’s ok. Because even if you’re not feeling good all the time, that’s ok. Give up those expectations.

Conclusions

There are rare moments when we have expectations and they become a reality. People seldom behave as we wish, depending on what expectations we have. Always remember that your level of happiness is directly proportional to the thoughts that you have and how you choose to interpret what happens to you. Observe what expectations you have and how much do they really help.

What other expectations would you add to this list? Or maybe you have taken the decision to give up having expectations from others. Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.